Double-Dipping blogs

I am actually maintaining two blogs about refugee resettlement (which is why both are somewhat neglected). The other one is super politically-correct and is for our organization's volunteers. But I just spent two hours writing a post about food in refugee communities for that blog (so I am really hungry) and I thought it might also interest this crowd. So here is that post from the other blog for your information (in case you are ever invited over to a somali's home for dinner) based on my experiences this year:

"Food is a major part of hospitality for many of our refugee families. For some families, making dinner is a way to say thank you to their volunteer. If a family offers you food or tea, feel free to accept! It can be a new cultural experience and a bonding opportunity for you and the people you are tutoring.

     While Bhutanese/Nepali and Iraqi families are likely to feed you early and often, some families are a little more shy about their cuisine. The Burmese families, for example, might not invite you to dinner for some time because they worry you won’t like the food. I volunteered with a Chin Burmese family for 4 months before they invited me to dinner, but after that first dinner they cooked for me every single time I stopped by. Somali families, I have found, will feed you if you happen to be there when they are having dinner. Here is a very basic guide for those times when you are invited to eat with a family—what kind of food and practices you might see in Burmese, Nepali/Bhutanese and Somali households.

Bhutanese/Nepali

[Note: I am using the terms “Bhutanese” and “Nepali” interchangeably in this post. For an explanation, click here]



A typical Nepali meal

Bhutanese/Nepali families love to feed people—they consider hospitality to be extremely important. (I cannot tell you how many times case managers have gone to pick up a Bhutanese family for an appointment and have been fed first—it is generally faster to stop arguing about the time and eat). Nepali food is similar to Indian food in that it is very flavorful, is usually eaten with rice, and will not include beef of any sort. A typical Nepali plate might have a big mound of rice surrounded by small bowls of Dahl (lentil broth), spicy chicken or goat and pickled vegetables. In addition, there will usually be a plate of sliced cucumbers or radishes on the table to be eaten intermittently when the food is too spicy. One pours the side dishes onto the rice and then mixes it up and eats it with one’s hands. Nepali/Bhutanese families will usually give you a spoon but they are generally delighted if you try to eat it with your hands “like Nepali” (little kids love giving you lessons about the right way to eat) but make sure you wash your hands first! Also, Nepali people typically do not talk very much while eating a meal.

     **Side note from a past volunteer: sometimes Nepali/Bhutanese families serve me food without serving themselves and then watch me eat—this may feel intensely uncomfortable for you, but I would just try to relax and go with it if that happens (though I have tried to explain to families that I prefer eating with them, with mixed success).  

     Nepali/Bhutanese families will keep putting food on your plate until you tell them to stop—they want to make sure you eat as much as you want. You might have to tell them several times that you are full before they will stop trying to give you more—so if they just put more food on your plate, don’t worry if you cannot finish it. When you are finished, it is perfectly okay to lick your fingers (but don’t do that while you eat, that’s frowned-upon) and then you can go wash your hands at the kitchen sink.

     Before or after dinner (or really anytime during the day) Nepali families will serve tea (aka “chai”). Their tea is steeped in milk with cardamom seeds and is very sweet (if you are diabetic, mention it before they make the tea—this tea is usually loaded with sugar). Everybody in the family drinks tea, down to the littlest kids who might drink out of carefully-cooled bowls. 

Burmese

     Burmese food varies among the different ethnic groups but it is generally similar to Chinese food (e.g. a lot of rice, noodles and fish sauce). Consequently, Burmese families do most of their shopping at Asian markets like Fubonn on SE 82^nd Ave. Burmese food tends to be served with a main dish of rice, noodles, or soup and lots of little bowls of other ingredients on the tables from which you mix your own dish (which is nice if you want to avoid spicy food). Karen families will more often eat with their hands while other ethnic groups prefer to use spoons.  

A typical Burmese meal

Generally it is polite to finish your food but they won’t be insulted if you cannot. Much like with the Nepali they will keep serving you seconds and thirds in order to be hospitable so it is important to tell them when you don’t want any more. Also, it is fine to ask what is in a dish ahead of time and refuse it if you don’t like some of the ingredients—just tell them you don’t eat ___, they won’t mind. It will be a lot more awkward after the fact if they find out they have been serving you something you don’t like.

If you want to cook for a Burmese family, chicken is probably your safest bet. Mostly stay away from cheese and dairy, the Burmese tend to be unfamiliar with cheese in particular and don’t like to eat it. Baked goods and sweets are popular, though Burmese families don’t typically know how to bake these themselves (ovens are a new experience for most of the families).

Finally, if you are going to have tea with a Burmese family, expect Jasmine tea without sugar—it is a light, sweet-smelling green tea that one can buy fresh from Asian markets.   

Somali

     Somali food is characterized by lots of meat (beef or camel) cooked in oil and onions and eaten with bread. Somali families observe halal (Islamic rules for eating) pretty strictly so they buy most of their meat at Halal markets around Portland. Somali food is also strongly influenced by past Italian colonialism so most Somalis love spaghetti with onions and tomatoes any time of the day. Bananas are also a major part of meals for many Somalis—they will serve rice or pasta with a whole raw banana on the side.

Somali Sambusas

     I have also found that since many Somalis spent a long time in refugee camps they frequently eat the food of whatever country they lived in before coming to America—so there can be a lot of variation in what families will eat (e.g. if a family came from Kakuma, Kenya they will eat a lot of Kenyan food).  One dish that is pretty popular with most east Africans is Sambusas (aka “samosas)—fried dough packets stuffed with spicy ground beef or lamb (I highly recommend them!). 

     As with Nepali/Bhutanese families, Somalis will probably give you a spoon but they will be delighted to teach you to eat with your hands. If you are unsure how to eat something, just ask them how they would do it (though they will probably first insist that you can eat it however you would like).

     If you are cooking for a Somali family, chicken is probably safest bet (they are not as concerned about what store it came from) but raw veggies (e.g., salads) will probably not go over very well. Never serve something prepared with alcohol—even if it is “cooked off” (e.g. in desserts).

     You will probably be served Somali tea starting with your very first visit. They prefer black tea steeped in milk with cardamom pods, cinnamon sticks and whole cloves (basically a chai latte—very delicious!). They tend to drink it very sweet with lots of sugar so be sure to tell your host in advance if you cannot eat that much sugar.

Again, these are very basic guidelines, every family is different. We would love to hear some stories from our volunteers about eating with refugee families, feel free to post a comment below!"

So there you have it. FYI I am trying to get an "in" with each community so that I can learn how to cook all of this food so that I do not experience painful withdrawals when I return to Salt Lake City in a month.

I chose to laugh so I wouldn't cry....aka find the humor in every situation

Here is a random collection of stories I have accumulated over the last few weeks that are united by the humor that I found in each situation. (My laughter was accompanied by a forehead slap and a groan)

I picked up a somali guy at the airport last night (as per the state department's request) and took him to stay with a few of our other Somali guys for a couple of days. While he was catching his breath (by drinking sugary tea in true somali fashion) I watched TV with another guy (who I will call Faisel). We were watching a documentary about Pirates of the Caribbean and I turned to him and asked "do you know what this is about? Pirates? Do you know the word Pirate?" He looked confused and apologized for "little English." For some reason it suddenly seemed very important to me to explain what the word pirate meant--I started with "ocean", got to "boat" and mimed taking money. My gestures were getting more and more elaborate when suddenly Faisel's face lit up and said "oh! Pirates--Somalia!" I awkwardly said "yeah...pirates in somalia" he then pointed to the TV and asked "this is about pirates?" and when I said yes he yelled to his roommates "hey, come see, somalia is on the news!" LOL

I was waiting for this Somali guy at the airport with another Somali (my interpreter who taught me the somali phrase for "welcome to America!"). I told my interpreter the name of the guy we were waiting for and he immediately flipped open his phone and made a call in the Somali language. When he was done he turned to me and said "this guy we are looking for, he is short and fat--like four men but very small." I asked him how on earth he knew that and he told me "I called my friend in Michigan who came today and he was on the plane from Tunisia with him." Literally 2 minutes with just a name and the Somali network in the US was able to give me more personal details about this guy than the state department bio I was given! We picked him up without a hitch--he was short and a bit rotund--but not that fat. Really, he will fit into American society just fine. But the Somalis who meet him keep commenting on how fat he is. One lady patted his stomach and said "how could you survive Libya and Tunisia and still be this big!?" It's like they can accept that Americans are fat but they consider it open for public comment when one of their own is (I'm starting to suspect that Somalis may think Americans are a different species...)

The congolese family of nine I mentioned in the last post has been a joy to work with....mostly. I took them to go get clothes last week and, as per usual, I gave them a rough guideline of how much to spend. The problem with taking people to get clothing is that people vary dramatically in how much they think they need, how much they are willing to take, how well they can add prices in their heads, and how much they know about Portland weather. Different groups need different guidelines--with some wild generalizations this is what I have observed: somali guys won't really take anything beyond a shirt and maybe a pair of shoes, nepali families really like buying fake flowers, burmese families need encouragement to take more clothes for their kids, and most middle-eastern families are kind of grossed-out by the idea of used clothes. I didn't know what to expect with the congolese family so I just told them to "get what you need." Oops! six shopping carts and $1500 later we nearly cleaned out the store and significantly depleted our community grant. The problem was that this family didn't speak English at all so I couldn't figure out how to gently say "oh my god! Stop!!" I chalked it up to a learning experience and decided that in the future, for big families it was better to just tell them how many carts they could use.

On a different note.....Our summer program for elementary school-aged refugee kids starts in two weeks! I have been working on this for months and it looks like it is going to be a big success. We are working on a curriculum with two ESL teachers and I am busy planning field trips and fun activities. Those "fun activities" include a tae kwon do class that I will be teaching (with minimal english?) and messy science experiments! I'm gonna make gak and gooey slime!!! (needless to say, I am stoked!) I will try to get pictures to share with y'all during the course of the program...stay tuned!

"Pre-arrival Services"

Technically our work is split into two parts--pre- and post-arrival services. Normally I mostly just help with the post-arrival services but I lent one of the case managers a hand with pre-arrival work this last week. Last week we got the news that a family of nine from the Congo was being resettled by our agency in Portland. We only had about 10 days to find and furnish a 4-bedroom apartment--and our donations coordinator was out of town. Fate was with us and we did manage to find a place (at the last second we managed to find a landlord who had never before rented to a refugee family--she is going to hate us for a while I think (even with the best of families it just tends to involve a lot of chaos and "creative" paperwork while they are waiting for their documents to be processed).

Here is the Congolese family of nine with all of their worldly possessions
(The balloon was from the interpreter)

We spent hours upon hours setting up this apartment (eight bed frames to assemble, eight box springs and mattresses to carry up the stairs and eight sets of sheets to make up the beds with). What really struck me was the sheer volume of excess plastic packaging all of the lamps, microwave, vaccuum, etc. involved. But it was exciting because everything we put together was for a family who had probably never had it before.

About two hours before this family was supposed to arrive we got a phone call letting us know that their flight was delayed in Dallas. A serious problem with the refugee resettlement program (among many others) is that once a family goes through customs there isn't really a system of support for the family to help them through their connecting flights. At that point the airline in theory takes over but since the families often do not speak English it can be pretty tricky. So this family was stuck in DFW for hours and hours without food, money, or the ability to ask what was going on and how long the delay would be. A stranger finally took pity on them and let the dad use her phone to call the emergency US number (which is Cecilia's cell, LOL) and we told him that as soon as he got to Portland we had food for them and a place to sleep. Meanwhile we were really concerned that their flight would be delayed over night in Dallas. In theory the airline would give them vouchers for food and a hotel but how would a refugee family with no english be able to figure out how to use that? As the flight was delayed later and later I got more and more concerned so I finally called in the calvary (aka the Dupont family---or more specifically, Rick and Margaret) and warned them that if this family's flight got delayed much more I was going to ask for a favor way above and beyond the ties of family and have them pick up this family and make sure they got food and a place to sleep (I figured that if anyone could feed nine people on short notice it would be the Duponts). Though I am pretty sure they were alarmed and I probably over-extended my "favorite niece" karma they agreed to help if it came to that.

Luckily, the Congolese family's plane did take off and they made it to Portland. Of course, once they arrived in Portland they did not understand that they needed to come outside of security in order for us to find them. After an hour, (at this point around 11pm Portland time) we confirmed with an airport employee that the family was still waiting outside the gate and, after unsuccessfully arguing with a TSA agent, we had to call the Portland police to go through security and wave the family out (absolutely ridiculous that neither TSA nor the airline could help us out then). We finally got the family out and collected their luggage. They were, of course, exhausted and overwhelmed--the interpreter kept taking pictures and speaking to them rapidly in French/Swahili trying to explain that my co-worker and I were trustworthy and would help them--but they were also incredibly relieved and happy. At one point I turned to the mom to say something simple in French and she had her face in her hands and was mumbling to herself, visibly shaking with relief. I don't speak Swahili or French really but I am pretty sure she was saying "we made it" over and over.

You can see the rest of the family gathered around the kitchen
table reflected in the window

We finally got them back to their apartment where I got to show them all of the beds, kitchen utensils and bathroom things we had carefully purchased and arranged just for them (very fun part of the job). Though they were glassy-eyed with exhaustion and we no longer had an interpreter to help the case manager had to walk them through safety features and basic orientation to the shower, locks and electricity. I cooked them a basic dinner (sauteed veggies, bread and a few rotisserie chickens) and by about 1am they were all gathered around their table, finally eating and able to relax. My coworker Brendon looked at them and said "why can't the state department see this when they review us?" He paused and then said, "they'd probably criticize us for not having a food handler's license."

We finally left, telling the family that we would check on them the following afternoon. [side story: this family lived clear across town from my house and I had an 8am appointment the next morning with another refugee very close to their apartment. I had a brief moment where I wanted to just sleep on this family's couch. I was thinking "they wouldn't know it was weird--it's not like they'd say no, they would assume that this is what case managers just did in America." I was very tempted but I did drive home in the end].

I have more stories to come about this family, so stay-tuned! A special shout-out to Rick & Margaret for not just hanging up the phone when I called :)