Three learning moments with one somali family:
1) I helped the aunt in the family (who is only 2 yrs older than I am) to open a bank account so that she could pay the rent by check. We went to the same bank where the JVs go since I knew they were free ("the world's greatest bank"--not fact, just a slogan). It didn't seem like it would be hard--she had the right ID, she spoke english, and she had money to put into the account--but we ended up staying 30 minutes past closing for one thing: the security questions for online banking. I have created security questions for literally dozens of online accounts and I never realized how culturally-specific they are. There was a list of 20 questions and she just had to answer 5 of them but we couldn't do it. She grew up in a refugee camp where she had few if any posessions, did not go to high school, and is from a culture with a different naming convention. With that in mind, imagine trying to answer any of these questions: "highschool mascot name?" "most inspiring highschool teacher's name?" "favorite author?" favorite painter?" "favorite musician?" "first instrument you played?" "mother's maiden name? (somali's don't change their names when they marry)" "name of the street you grew up on? (no streets in Kakuma)" "favorite sport's team?" "City where your closest sibling lives? (they all died in the war)." My favorite moment was when the manager kept asking her the name of any pet she had growing up. It took a lot of effort for me not to look at him and say "look, dumbass, no one keeps pets in a camp where children are chronically malnourished." In the end I invented answers for her, wrote them down and told her not to lose the paper. (much like how the US government gives the Somali's birthdays)
2) As a thank you for helping her with the bank account, this woman and her sister taught me how to make sambusas (somalian samosas). I learned how to cook them the somali way (with bare hands on a hot plate--the trick is to keep your hands moving quickly so they don't burn as you make the wrappers--the sister teased me about having soft hands--it's called a functioning nervous system!). see here for description: http://www.mysomalifood.com/appetizers/somali-sambusa/ I learned some real gems of somali wisdom while cooking with them--e.g. if you cry a lot while cutting onions it means that you will be a jealous wife. Also, when somalis make "chips" (aka fries--thank you british imperialism) one of the necessary ingredients is the color yellow. Not even kidding--they added food dye to the potatoes before frying them. I looked at the additive, determined that it was just dye with no flavor, and when I asked why they added it they just said "because they should be yellow." I have no clue what historical/marketing quirk is behind that one but I would love to know. Unfortunately the cooking lesson took 3 hours longer than I anticipated/had checked out the car for (originally I was just going to social security with her husband) so I am now on the permanent shit-list of the secretary at my office. Worth it though, those things are delicious.
3) after the cooking lesson, while we were eating the delicious sambusas, the three of us chatted about men and the appropriate way one should pursue a husband (pretty predictable: get parental approval, make sure he doesn't do drugs, make sure he is respectful to his mother, don't sleep with him before marriage or "he will think you are cheap" is what they advised). But as the sister was advising me on this she started out by saying "when you are seducing a man....." I stopped, asked her to repeat herself, and confirmed that she indeed said "seducing a man." As she is a devout somali woman who wears a hijab and a full abiyat (traditional ankle and wrist-covering dress) I assumed that wasn't what she meant. I explained what that meant/the connotations of that word (really awkwardly, I waved vaguely into space as I said "it means you plan to do something..um...maybe before marriage" like I was a 1960s dad talking to a teenager). When it clicked what I meant she turned red, gasped, and said "oh no! I would never do that!" and after much discussion we decided that the word she was looking for was "courting."
This post has gone on much too long, and it is all about the somali. So, I will just leave you with one or two more gems I have learned about the Nepali/bhutanese:
1) Nepali families love to do things together. So when I went to pick up a family of four to get clothes I ended up taking 11 people to a store where they ultimately sat in a circle on the floor and loudly sorted through a mound of clothes before choosing a wardrobe by committee.
2) Nepali families like to feed guests--which is great--but they also often prefer the guest to eat first....alone....while they all stand in a semi-circle around you and watch--I have never been so uncomfortable with such wonderful food.
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